I turned to the window of my bedroom clutching my phone to my chest. Evander was in the hospital, dying from cancer, while I was in my room looking out at Phoenix, AZ.
The phone at my chest started ringing.
I answered the phone not pausing to check caller ID, "Hello?"
"Is this Ms. Blick?" The woman on the other end asked.
"Yes, this is she."
"We need you to come to the hospital, the doctors are worried that Mr. Evans won't make it much longer." the woman said it so flatly, that my heart hurt.
"I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Thank you, Ms.," Then the call went dead.
I dropped the phone and started to cry. Evander was going to die. Why did Evander have to die? Evander, the man that I loved. Evander, the man I was supposed to marry in two months. He was going to die. The thought continued over and over again in my head.
I picked up my phone and called Emily, Evander's 19-year-old sister. When Emily picked up, I asked, "Are you home?"
"Yeah, why, Sage, is something wrong?" Emily asked, probably hearing the tears in my voice.
"It's Evander, someone called me from the hospital," a sob broke through, "They don't think he's going to make it much longer. Can I pick you up on my way to the hospital?"
Silence, then, "When will you get here?"
"Three or five minutes."
"Okay, I'll be ready and outside."
"Thank you."
The call ended and I ran out of the apartment, barely remembering to grab my bag and keys. When I reached the car, Evander's car, I started the engine and immediately left.
Emily was standing outside her apartment complex with her fiancé, Tyler, when I got there.
"What did the hospital tell you?" Emily asked as she and Tyler got in the car.
"Just that they're worried." I answered as I started the two-minute drive to the hospital.
When we reached the hospital we had an ICU valet take the car as we rushed up to the ICU, to Evander.
"Are you here to see Mr. Evans?" the nurse asked, I recognised her but I couldn’t remember her name.
"Yes, can we see him?" I was getting desperate, I had to see him.
"All of you, come with me." The nurse led us to his room, "He's not doing well..."
I stopped listening to the woman as I walked in the room. All I could think was, No. Evander, no. This is impossible. You said you'd win this fight. Please.
He was lying in the hospital bed, unconscious, and fighting to breathe.
I tried to focus on the heart monitor and note his bpm, but I couldn’t, then I tried to focus on the hum of the ventilator, but I couldn't. He was lying there, pale as death. I felt Emily rush past me and I followed numbly.
I walked around Emily to the far side of the bed and grabbed Evander's pale hand as another nurse came in, this one I could place.
"Sage, how are you doing?" Trina asked. She had been my best friend since nursing school, she was a short Hispanic woman with long black hair, amber eyes and glittering white teeth.
I shook my head and tried not to cry. I looked at the heart monitor and noticed that Evander's bpm was going down, it wasn't fast, but it was steadily going down.
I felt the blood rush from my head as I said, "Trina, get the doctor. Now!"
She did as I ordered, hearing the command in my voice. Dr. Defriez must have been making his rounds in the ICU because he was there in under a minute.
"What is it, Sage?" Dr. Defriez was calm as usual.
"His bpm has been going down. It was 83 when I got here, now it's at 73. We've been here for less than five minutes."
He turned to Trina, "Who is watching him?"
The other nurse said, "Trina an-" She was cut off by the heart monitor as Evander flat lined.
Emily, who I had forgotten was there, started crying.
The doctor turned to Tyler and said, with emotion he almost never showed, "Get her out of here, now!" Then rushed to Evander and started doing CPR.
It became hard to breathe as nurses rushed into the room, it felt like the world was crashing down around me as the panic attack took hold of me.
Trina came over to me and herded me out of the room, "You can't be in here."
Minutes later, Dr. Defriez came out and said, "I'm sorry, Sage, there was nothing I could do."
My heart dropped. Evander was dead and I had to pick up the broken pieces of my life and heart, while I could imagine a different Evander and what he could've been in a different universe, a different version of himself in another place, parallel to mine.